Settling into being a WAHM

I admit it has been a bit difficult for me to get this blog started. The strange thing is learning to balance my time better. I thought that being a WAHM mom with a nanny I'd have enough time - but it never feels that way. In fact, I feel a bit like a hamster on a wheel trying to keep up.

2 years ago I started my consultancy but it's only this year that it got off the ground. I find myself working all hours as I try to reconcile my mission to make money with my mission to be the mother that's there. I guess it is time to start laying out a serious game plan to balancing it all.....

A nice spin on a baby toy I would have otherwise purchased

So my friend sent me a picture of her son at daycare playing at a water table. I instantly thought - i would love to get something like that for my little one. I started looking online on amazon and I found one I wanted :

The problem came when I looked at the reviews. Everyone warned not to leave water in it when the kids aren't playing. It was a perfect breeding ground for Mosquitos. Then I thought - I could just only fill it when my daughter was playing with it . But wait - do I want that responsibility? I quickly got an image of this toy sitting upside down in the yard because I would be avoiding having water collect in it! Ugh that's just too much work . Then I spoke to one of my mommy friends and she suggested I get a roasting pan full it with water and put her bath toys in it whenever I wanted her to play with water outside . Problem solved lol!

Taking a no-cry approach to sleep trainings

So I know that a lot of people believe you need to cry it out to get your kid to sleep on their own. When my daughter was born - well more like before - I firmly believed I would be a rigid routine driven mom. I was going to give my kid hard structure so they could feel secure . Well that went out the window. My baby slept in a cosleeper at first because I was terrified of suffocating her. But at 5 months I started co sleeping sporadically. At 6-7 months we were doing it routinely. I tried to cry it out once and that was a royal failure. Anyway that's enough history

So lately I just watch for sleep cues, turn out all the lights, and put her down on her tummy in her crib . Sometimes she whimpers a bit - but no tears. Next thing her head hits the mattress and she's out! I am loving this! I know every kid is different - but I firmly believe if you work at it - you can get your kid to sleep on their own without the torturous screams. We are 4 days into this routine. And for those who say if you cosleep you will never get your kid out of your bed - well hah!

The big sleep question - to cosleep or not?

I can't tell you how many times I've gone back and forth in my head about this. Initially I refused to let my little girl sleep next to me. I simply was terrified of squashing her. But a few months passed, and she's a lot stronger. After a 2 month vacation with her, I decided to switch her to sleep in her room. This was after we returned from our vacation. Well that was a royal failure. She completely rejected her bedroom crib. Now when we were on vacation, I was breastfeeding a lot and often I wasn't sleeping at home, so she co-slept with me quite a bit.

That being said, she still slept pretty much wherever I put her. This return home where she was refusing her crib was the first time I'd dealt with this. So my solution, I put her in the bed next to me. After 2 weeks I was able to coax her into sleeping in the playpen beside my bed. I know people say that if you let your kids cosleep it will be impossible to get them out of your bed - but maybe it's just my naivety but I simply don't believe that. Looking at her behavior, it was just very obvious to my husband and I that our little one was simply not ready to be on her own.

So here I am with an almost-8 month old and she sleeps in our bed at night. Some nights my husband sleeps next to me . I thought it would be a miserable thing - but honestly it's not that bad. Now for those that say my child might be developing some weird sleep associations... here are a few intersting facts about my little one's sleeping preference:

• She will sleep in her playpen downstairs without issue
• She will sleep on the floor without issue
• She will sleep on a couch without issue
• She will sleep in our bed whether we are in the bed or not 

Since she seems to be changing all the time regarding her sleep preferences.... we're going to let her ride this out. After all - I've never seen a kid ruined from being loved too much. If sleeping next to us gives her a sense of peace, it's worth any potential inconvenience for now.

My 7 month old has been using an iPad for 3 months now

When I have some time, I'll write out my whole story - but needless to say - I'm a bit of a tech junkie. Thanks to my dear husband, my assimilation into Apple culture is complete. I have an iPad, iPod, iPhone 4S, and a macbook air. I also have a windows laptop that i use for my windows IT stuff... but that's purely for work purposes. I'm a big believer in the idea that the digital divide will determine the new social classes in the future, so I want my little one to be up to speed with computers. I totally intend on teaching her to program when the time comes. But for now, I'm getting her used to using technology. I have been letting her play with my iPad since she was 3 months old. When she was 4 months and her coordination got better, she started to respond to it. I have a few apps, mainly ones that make noises when she touches the screen and also speak to her - narrating her actions. It's quite amazing watching her figure out how it works. The result was that in a few short weeks, she started trying to touch every single screen she came across. Now at 7 months, she's happily banging on my iPad making colors and sparkles appear. She's discovered that if she does the 4-finger motions, the iPad does even more cool things. In time I hope she'll be using it to read books, learn games, and ultimately interface with the web. Here's to having a tech-savvy baby girl!

Business travel and breastfeeding - UGH~

So I did this a few weeks ago - I had to take a quick business trip ( 2 in one week actually). It sucked because since my little one was 6 months at the time, I wasn't ready to spend the night away from her. So I committed to doing a Tuesday flight to see a client and then a Thursday back to see the client. Sounds easy enough huh? Basically I took the first flight out and the last flight returning home. My nanny was kind enough to be at my house at 4 am and my husband was home to relieve her after 5 pm.

So here was the real challenge - to pump or not to pump! Oh yeah - did I mention that I'm still breastfeeding? hehe! Well Since I was just doing a day trip - I decided not to carry my pump. This would have been the first time that I had gone for 12+ hours without pumping.  I had also reasoned, that if I got stuck out there - I could always milk myself in a hotel room. Yes  - I have watched enough Marmet technique videos on Youtube - and I did teach myself how to express my milk by hand for emergencies. There was a little incident where I stopped responding to my personal breastpump - and yes I was desperately milking myself into a bowl! I heard all the warnings about losing milk supply - but I decided to gun it. First of all - it just doesn't look professional to carry a breastpump to a client meeting. Although I have a nice discreet pump that looks like a tote - it's one more thing to carry. Secondly - where exactly would I pump? I absolutely REFUSE to pump in a bathroom - and I don't feel comfortable asking client's to provide a place for me to pump - especially since they are paying for my time. So I decided to risk having watermelons for boobs - and just gun it!

I chose a suit that had plenty of lining and I wore a thick bra. I didn't expect my boobs to be spraying -but I wanted to make sure that any leaks could be contained. Now on the Tuesday trip... my boobs definitely got huge. When I left the house - my suit fit. When it hit lunch time, my dress was tight. By the time I got back to the airport in the evening, my boobs were under my chin haha. My colleague who was traveling with me was giggling at how huge my breasts got. Needless to say - when I arrived home, I basically wore my little one as she fed. By Thursday, my boobs figured out what was going on - and decided not to fill as much. I was worried that my supply would drop - but honestly - I never noticed a difference. Now on the days I travel, I just make sure that the next day I nurse even more - and my little one seems to be just fine.

I got through it with no leaks and my baby isn't suffering - so here's one score for balancing work and baby :)

Where my head is

I toyed with deciding in whether I should keep blogging since my last post was titled "infertility warrior". Yet although now I'm the proud mother of an amazing 7 month old baby girl, i still have lots going on in my head . I'm grappling with changing my career direction, adjusting to motherhood and learning to redefine myself. There are definitely some cool things I have learned along the way - and I'm eager to share.


First - The career shift

I am a web and Sharepoint consultant project manager. I've been doing that for quite a few years. If you've read my other blog then you know I spent most of last year telecommuting working on bed rest. This is the first time I've slowed down that much in my life. Although I made a good salary, once my daughter was born, I realized that I needed to work less and make more money so I could be with my daughter. I decided to take my company ( that I founded a year earlier) and go full force with it. I secured a contract and then negotiated one with my job , and here I am .... A consultant mother with a new baby and an awesome husband.

Second - motherhood

Where do I even begin with this? Breastfeeding is finally normal - but that requires its own post because it has been one crazy ride. I love buying learning toys, baby clothes, teethers, and all sorts of stuff for her. I'm dealing with sleep training, solids, and teaching my little one to be mobile.

Third- redefining myself

I've been a workaholic for years. I've been all about progress and bettering myself. Now I have this baby girl and her life is far more important than mine. I'm on a very long road to figuring myself out again.

Before I forget... if you want to know just how I got to this point of being a mom  - here's my whole story.